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St. Louis. Also, Planescape

  • Nov. 23rd, 2009 at 9:56 AM
Torment
It was Sunday, and like the awesome Calvin and Hobbes collection, it was a lazy Sunday. I woke up at around 1 AM to find that the reason I had lasted that long in the world of my head, was because nothing was happening today. One of the first things I did was get to reading The Last Wish again. I just love how the cinematic for The Witcher was so high quality, to the point where reading The Witcher the short story (The one where King Foltest asks to reverse the curse on Adda's daughter, who has become a Striga), the fight is in perfect unison between the two mediums. I mean, every word in the book correlates to every shot in the cinematic. Nothing was added or removed. If you don't believe me, read/watch it. Mind you, you should be doing that anyways, since they are both great pieces of art. Anyways, after reading that for a while, Kevin, Dad, Caitlin and I decided to play some table tennis. The result was interesting.

What started out as simple 2v2 rally, began to heat up, and become more interesting when dad kept attempting to slam the ball into Kevin. This resulted in harder hitting, and more yelling. By the end we had tried playing with 1, 2, 3, and even 4 balls to varying degrees of success, and the idea of 'winning' is more defined by who did the cooler stuff. Dad and I did assist serves, as well as crazy shots from far too far away from the table to be considered normal by any length. One thing I enjoyed about that session was the fact that Wendy was just doing a puzzle nearby, and balls were flying past her to no end, however she didn't flinch one bit. Was great.

After that died down, we were all tired, so I just sat down in front of my laptop and thought "Well, what could I do now?". The answer? Planescape, and let me tell you, even raving about it to everyone, I still forget how amazing it is. I began playing again with my semi-recent save right at the beginning, where The Nameless One and Morte the talking skull have become acquainted, and wandered around the first level of the mortuary, discussing the Rule-of-three, and how Morte wants to show the volumptuous chits the way of a good time. These chits being corpses ressurected by magic. Not traditionally attractive.

The language of this game always blows me away, I need to remember to refer to females as chits more, money as jink, and speak like some tripped ass pikey that you find in The Hive of Sigil (regarded by many as the center of the planes, however, others think this is wash, because how do you define the center of something that is infinite?). "Pen some berks in the dead-book" has got to be my favourite term of phrase thus far. In fact, the dead-book itself is a fantastic concept. There is this monument in The Hive, which appears like a war memorial, and contains the name and date of everyone's death up until the current point, and there is a Dustman who hangs around called Death-of-Names. He knows where to find each name on the monument, which directly correlates to the Dustman's record of death, aptly named the 'dead-book'.

Other highlights of my short game, from the first level of the mortuary, to running around disguised as a dustman up in the higher levels, to walking around the Hive were as follows:

Ingress, the nutty woman who runs around the Hive, and has gone slightly crazy due to being stuck in the Hive away from everyone she knows for thirty years by accidentally walking through a door (the term for portals, which are everywhere in the planes, and especially in Sigil). She hasn't walked through an arch since her accident, and asks you to find a way for her to get 'home'

Convincing a Dustman against his belief of wanting to die, by killing yourself, only to come alive again soon later, showing him that there is more to see in life, and that he shouldn't be so eager to end.

and this shiny gem of dialogue which I hadn't seen before. This is the second of who knows how many exchanges between Morte and The Nameless One about chits.

Morte: Did you see the way that cadaverous beauty was staring at me? She was looking for some lucky cutter to thaw her coffin

The Nameless One: Please don't start this again.

Morte: *Becomes thoughtful* I don't really mind the attention actually... it's just that I like to be seen as something more than just a skull you know? I have feelings that go beyond my base animal instincts. I want courtship, not some fortnight fling around the mausoleum.

The Nameless One: Morte, you *are* a skull. Nobody can help but see you as a skull. Accept it.

Morte: Yeah, well I may be just a skull, but I have a big heart. *Morte tries to stifle a snicker*

Sarcasm is fantastic, and so is Morte.

If anyone who knows me in real life needs or wants the discs to this game, I will gladly pass them, because this is a game that needs to be played. You cannot call yourself an RPG lover until you've experienced the planes, and this is the best way to do it.

Chris - The Nephilim Rising

St. Louis. Also, Dinosaurs

  • Nov. 22nd, 2009 at 12:11 AM
Torment
The zoo was the chosen activity of today, and so this morning after a hearty breakfast, we all piled in our Kia rental car, and begun the 20-30 minute drive to St. Louis Zoo.

The car trip was rather interesting mainly because Dad and Caitlin weren't very keen for the Zoo, and everyone was pretty tired from questing over the last few days (you have no idea how quick you level over here if you put your mind to it), I swear, from the dialogue that got passed around, there is definately a reality show in there somewhere. Somehow we made it to the zoo however without tearing any hair off, or severing any arteries, and after being pretty happy that the zoo was free, we wandered inside. This is where the magic began.

With my family, once you hit the "terminal tiredness-lulz constant", shit hits the fan, and god damn it's funny. After wandering into the african wildlife outdoor exhibit, Caitlin pulled out the camera, and tried to take some photos of her freakishly long legs by doing lunges. This proceeded to myself and her taking a photo next to a giant emperor beetle statue doing lunges, which then proceeded to taking photos of us looking like dinosaurs. The first few were lulzy, taking pictures in front of dinosaur poses around various landmarks, but then she accidentally hit video. This results in a short clip of me posing as a dinosaur, and then you hear "...And that's not a picture, that's video". My face afterwards is priceless. I'm actually pretty impressed with how unimpressed I was at the time. I'll try get the video to Youtube so people can see it.

The rest of the zoo trip was so much more entertaining because posing as various animals/extinct reptiles makes the world so much more fun. We even have an image of Caitlin posing as a hippo quite accurately, and checking if her ass looks big compared to a Rhino's rear. Quality holiday experiences.

After we got our fill of animals, we left the zoo, and headed to the Mall. Now, I love american malls, they are massive, and if you find the right store, you always find awesome stuff. Most of the stores I went into were really dull, but there were two stores where magic really happened.

1) Barnes and Noble: We went in this store because I wanted to find The Last Wish and Blood of Elves, by Andrzej Sapkowski. After walking around for a few minutes unsuccessfully finding it, I asked this nice girl in her late teens for assistance in finding this Polish novel. Within two minutes I was holding what was to be my copy of The Last Wish, and she said that while they didn't have Blood of Elves, she could get it in store within 24 hours. This, and her, pleased me to no end, up until the point where she asked if I was Polish myself because I didn't sound like an american. Whatever she was smoking, it causes some supreme dumb. Yes, that does make grammatical sense, I swear. Now I just had to wait with Caitlin until mom finished doing what she wanted, as dad and Nadia were doing their own thing. It is at this point where I spotted the giant Twilight stand with the score of Twi-kiddies sitting around talking about all things Twilight. This is where Caitlin got a twinkle in her eye, and the next thing I know, I'm carrying books from the Twilight stand like I am their #1 Fan. Except we didn't go to the checkout. We carried these books to the humour section of the store, and arranged them perfectly. We then found assorted good novels, and carried these quality books, such as the Chronicles of Narnia, and placed them to replace the old carrion we had removed. Satisfied with our work, we left the store, discussing that maybe if we took the twilight covers, and put them on quality books, then maybe we could trick some people into buying other books of higher quality.

2) Shoe Magic, or something to that degree: I'd been shopping for shoes for 2 days now, been in around 12 stores, seriously, I felt like a woman, but mom said that I needed new shoes, and that she wasn't going to come back to NZ without new ones, so I was forced to look for something in my size that was badass, and this store...man this store rocked. Within 2 minutes of walking in, I was trying on a bunch of pairs of epic shoes, and I left with not one, but two pairs of epic DC shoes. One is a pretty classic white skate shoe, and the others...well, they are quite something. They are high top DC shoes that look like they took nerd shirts, and designed shoes out of them. They have these blue plaid sections on the side, and I was not sold on them at all at first, but they are totally epic.



That, my friends, is your God. Actually, no, it's just a shoe, but it's one of the pairs I bought. Pretty awesome no?

After scoring epic stuff, we went to Fazoli's, which is a badass Italian restaurant to celebrate, and god damn you guys need to taste it, it's like the American Burger Fuel. Also, sucks to be Aussies reading this. What do you have HUH?

Anyhow, I should wrap this up, but yes, all ur epic shoes are belong to us, specifically me and my feet.

Chris - The Nephiliim Rising

EDIT: The ID to this post is 6666. Guess I am the antichrist. Or this post is. Or something.

St. Louis. Also, Country Bob

  • Nov. 20th, 2009 at 11:12 PM
Torment
This entry covers what happened right after getting off the PC from posting the first St. Louis. Also, X entry, until the end of my first full day in St. Louis.

So, after eating pop tarts, I got convinced to have a pork rib that was left over from the night before I arrived. I opened up the fridge, sniffed it, and thought "Yeah man, that would be pretty damn tasty" and shoved it in the microwave. While it was cooking I looked through the fridge for Country Bob's sauce which Uncle Kevin stated was something between (A1), and BBQ sauce, it didn't take me long to lose interest in all things Country, and all things Bob, when I came across...

SWEET BABY RAYS NIGGA.

YES. We had Sweet Baby Rays barbeque sauce. I must say, that was a damn good pork rib jizzed all over by who ever Ray's sweet sweet baby is. I assume he has a kickass name, like Malcolm, or Dennis, or Myjunkishuge. Whatever his kid is called, that sauce he makes is great, and now I know, my Uncle Kevin, is a real nigga.

Also, may I just say, my morning hair this morning, that I didn't mention in the first post only because I hadn't looked in the mirror by that point, was EPIC. I mean, I normally have crazy ass morning hair, to the point where when I get up, people in my family flock, and laugh. But today's...It was like Goku went supersayan battling some bitches, and then went to sleep. It was extreem-limozeen. (Also a new term that I coined today, pretty sweet huh? I know, you can think it's lame, but I swear if I say it enough it'll catch on)

After I tamed the beast that was my hair, and calmed down from becoming a real black man, the family and I went shopping. We went to various stores around the place, but the main store we went to was Target. Now, I wish I'd brought the whole damn Nerd-Squad, because I swear, there was some kickass shirts that don't suit me, but would have been badass for other people. Eg. There was this hilarious first gen Star Trek one which just had the whole original crew running, but it was green so it looked odd as hell on me. There was also some Comic hero themed ones which were badass, as well as some Sesame Street shirts which were a lot more badass then my descriptive skills can attribute to. All in all, you guys should have come with.

After looking at shirts, and other assorted crap, we went to my Grandparents on my mothers side, and discussing new fangled technology such as the new VHS my grandfather brought. It was amusing hearing their perspective on things, and what was new, and mindblowing for them. Old people always fascinate me, I always study them to try and avoid ending up like that in the end, but I assume I'll end up all the same come the time. Anyhow, probably less interesting for others, so I digress.

Soon after we headed home, at around 6 I guess. My Aunt and Uncle had already gotten home from work at that point, so we talked a bit, and I played some Island of Dr. Brain. Man that game rocks by the way, if anyone hasn't palyed it, I'll try get them the Abandonia link and DOS box, because it just rocks. Some people say educational and kids games are stupid. I say those people are stupid. There are always exceptions, just like anyone who looked at Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay, and thought it was just another shitty movie2game port should be shot.

And that was the day. Pretty interesting, Sweet Baby Rays was a big part of it, definately made my life's awesome counter get incremented. Thank you Ray, and thank you Ray's baby.

OH. Before I sign off. Two more things. One: My dad referenced Bubb Rubb and the WOOH WOOH meme while being gangsta today, referenced Keyboard Cat, and All your base also, and in LAX he said he needs to get the Autotune Iphone app he saw in the Knowyourmeme video. Epic win.

Number two for this evening: While discussing the gym in the car, Caitlin mentioned that Tyson went to the gym, upon which, Nadia uttered the new quote "But even Tyson's teeth are scrawny!"

If I had more time, I would go on memegenerator, and make an exploitable which simply says "Tyson: Even his Teeth are Scrawny." If someone could hook me up, it'd be great.

Anyhow, I must be out, it is seriously 11:11, and imma go finish The Island of Dr. Brain on hardest.

Chris - The Nephilim Rising

St. Louis. Also, War Stories

  • Nov. 20th, 2009 at 9:44 AM
Torment
Alright, this shall be forthwith my St. Louis journal, so that everyone may bask in my splendor. Seriously though, this is where I'm going to be posting, rather than emailing, because if I forget to email some people, then I have to forward, or resend, and it's a bunch easier to simply say this: If you know someone who knows me, link them this post. This is a fantastic statement, because the people who are the second generation readers, will then link the third generation, and then the fourth generation, until either everyone I know has read the post, or a bunch of randoms now know my LJ. I shall be happy with either. Feel free to email me back, and I will reply specifically to you by email, but the sort of mass emails that people send out are so vastly inefficient that I intend to, to put it politely, "Own their ass".

It's currently 9 AM on Friday the 20th, I woke up about an hour ago feeling pretty damn refreshed. I'm quite suprised, given the whole trip which I will detail below, but just quickly, the time difference in simple terms to get from Kiwi time to my time, is add 5 hours, and then subtract a day, or -17 hours if you're cooler :P. So, what is 9AM on the 20th to me, is 4 AM on the 21st to you. Anyhow, the trip, and lulz!

Midday on Thursday I left my house, mouthing Kaylee's line from the pilot of Firefly as I stepped out the door, and lounged in the front of Nick, my neighbours car as he drove myself and my father to the airport. On the way Nick discussed various things he was working on, one of which was his Morse Code club (He's a war veteran) including how he got his Morse Code license, which required him getting a pardon from a Major during his training. It was really quite fascinating, and I intend to ask Nick more about his military days when I go get the mail sometime in December. Upon reaching the airport, Nick refused payment for his badass taxi/storytelling service, so dad quickly feigned tackling Nick, and flicked money into the side of Nick's car. We win. (Although, it is hard to say that Nick lost, because his stories were epic badassey) We then said goodbye to Nick, and headed inside

Once we had entered the doors of the airport, we sighed at the quite extreme line for the baggage check in, and entered the back of the what seemed like mile long queue. However, after around two minutes of standing there, a man in a suit walks up to dad, another passenger and I, and asks "Where are you going?". When LAX was given as the reply, maybe we passed our Charisma check, maybe it was just a precoded event, but the man said "Come with me." Dad and I were looking at each other, and I can't speak for dad's interpretation, but what my head was hoping for was definately not BLU medic taunting with his Syringe gun. (read: preparing to put it in the butt.) Luckily, it wasn't BLU medic, and it wasn't RED medic, because I am RED's medic. What it was was the Quantas Lounge. Hello first class baggage check. Now, we didn't get upgraded to first class, however, we did get our baggage checked in, and customs checked, so we waltzed through Auckland International Airport, stopping to grab the last kiwi food we'd have in a while.

Once we got on the plane at around 3:30 PM, dad and I got split by a few rows, however, the two people that I would be stuck with for the next 11 hours, were pretty damn shiny. It was a couple in their mid twenties leaving from Wellington to head to Vancouver for a working holiday. Adam and Lisa were their names. Adam was a pretty knowledgeable man, who was definately sporty, and Lisa...well, Lisa knew which way was up, and was very friendly and nice. On the plane I watched Mad Men, How I Met Your Mother, Thank God You're Here, and some Top Gear, as well as rocked various CDs such as Pendulum's two, Behemoth's Demigod (which is suprisingly good to sleep to), and Paramore's Riot!. I only got around an hour's sleep on this trip, but I did hear some gems from Lisa including "I wonder what the first people to fly thought, and how they would have built all the computers and control equipment in the olden days?". She was epic.

Touching down to LAX, we stood in line for two hours, which all the time we were mentioning how we need to get picked out for the Quantas Lounge again. After that eternity we grabbed some American BK, which is pretty good, and then sat down for the 7-8 hours ahead. It was at this point my energy hit rock bottom, it was 9 AM NZ time, which is the time that I know specifically from LANing, that if I haven't slept, shit goes down. It is at 9 AM at the BG LAN that I climbed off my seat, and lay face up on the floor, and 45 minutes later started commenting on the flies on the ceiling. 9 AM + No sleep hates me. I now feel for The Sims when you sleep deprive them, and they can't sleep for some reason, so they just wander around like retarded zombies. To whoever was playing God at that point in time, I hate you. I just know you were laughing at me.

After being zombified, dad informed me that our flight would be here any minute, so I abandoned the spot where for the last hour or two I had been rocking EPIC DOS games using a power socket I'd found with a nearby seat. (Island of Dr. Brain, and Ecoquest II for people who care). This of course was a mistake, because dad was also a retarded zombie at this point. We got there an hour and a bit before our flight due to this misconception, and THEN the flight was delayed for around an hour. Epic dullz.

Finally getting on this flight, we then flew the 4-5 hours to St. Louis, where my Uncle Kevin and my mom picked us up. We headed for 20-30 minutes to get to Smithton Illinois, and to where I am now, home. Temporarily.

I then ate part of a pizza, and slept.

Thus ends part 1 of the St. Louis. Also: X Journal. Please email me guys, and I'll hope to make another post once I get some content.

Uni is over. also: other stuff.

  • Nov. 9th, 2009 at 10:43 PM
Torment
As of 4:40 PM I am free of uni for another year, which leaves me with this thing called "free time". Yeah, I know! Did Obama invent it or something? This new invention caused me to post on Live Journal, God knows how. I guess there are some subliminal messages in the Burger Fuel. Anyhow, this post is the result of said innovation and mind control.

A lot has been happening in the last few months, new PC games, new stuff in the Ju1cy world, new music, and new forms of lulz. I shall try to address all of these, but given my average literacy skills, and rust with the...uh, keyboard, we'll see how this goes.

New PC Games:

I don't think I can get past this section without mentioning:




No, it's not some wierd niche pornography, it's Borderlands! Now, I wasn't really interested in this game the whole time it was being talked about on the lovely  RPS. It looked alright, but my interest piqued when I saw the new art style, and gameplay. It's kept me addicted for a long time, simply because every time I play I'm finding new fantastic ways of shooting midgets in the fact. Exactly what I want in a game. It also helps that there is always lulz to be had, whether caused by playing with Ju1cies, or by finding a man's valuables (read: Porn) that his wife so carelessly threw out.

Isaac has been ranting on about Dragon Age: Origins, and from what I've seen, the game looks pretty solid. I am slightly tempted to purchase, but will probably wait for a STEAM sale before I issue my STEAM purchase-and-ordinary bitch Cameron to get it for me.

New Ju1cy stuff:

Team Fortress has been rocking as per normal, ended up 3rd in the Maxx Power Invitational tournament, which is higher then Maxx Power ended up, which we had the priviledge of knocking out of their own tournament. Take that boys, you can keep Tricka "Fatty" Technology. I really do picture them as Chaos Space Marines, which makes me feel badass, because that makes me a Loyalist Space Marine myself. Nothing more heterosexual then the good ol' SM.


New Music:

Oh man, so much new music has been happening as of late. The Full list of what I've got over the last week is as follows:

Creed - Full Circle
Family Force 5 Christmas Special
Congregation of the Damned - Atreyu
Design Your Universe - Epica
B-Complex - B-sides
Gojira - The Link
Gojira - Terra Incognita
Ben Moody - All For This
009 Sound System - B-Sides

So, a bunch, the stand outs would Be Design your universe, which is a great album I think, the songwriting has come up a notch since their last effort, and their horrible growling guitarist has taken a back seat, which is far superior to his average grunts. Also, Gojira and Creed's records are pretty shiny, even if I'm only listening to Creed for Mark Tremonti. <3

New forms of lulz:

GAY PORN! So. Nikki Dowling, a good friend of mine texted me, after I hadn't talked to her since around April, with an extremely odd request. She needed gay porn for revenge, and not just any revenge, this was homosexual revenge, or ho-venge for short. Basically her boyfriend is in the army, and getting in trouble with this douchebag, and have both ended up in preventative detention. As a result, Nikki needs gay porn, handcuffs, and a very kinky letter to be sent to aforementioned douchebag, because he will have to open this parcel infront of his superiors, thus making his life rather difficult. As a result I have been observing the perfect gay porn magazines to be added to this revenge plan. I must say, the effort that softcore magazines go to show rippled manflesh without showing the Death Worm* is unbelievable. It's really a treat to see. Well, I suppose it would be if you were gay and liked softcore.

Anyhow, the quality of the writing has deteriorated significantly due to me tiring, so I shall write some more at a datewise later, and timewise earlier occasion. Night peeps.

* - I was going to use Sandworm, but then realised that Sandworm is specifically Cameron's penis, as the free-women ride it.

Chris - The Nephilim Rising

The Witcher

  • Sep. 3rd, 2009 at 3:42 PM
Torment
So, I've been playing through the witcher with EE, and I must say it's pretty awesome, for reasons that you probably already know, but I just thought I'd UL these two images of a merchant I found in the Trade Quarter of Vizima, in chapter III. Note that they are taken from my cellphone, because Printscreen didn't like the witcher, and was giving me a black screen, and The Witcher has no screen dump option that I found quickly.



Close up, so you can check out this bowl cut toting emo in all his pointy chinned glory:



Wider shot so you can see that it is indeed a talkable character from The Witcher.



Spacemaster setting.

  • Aug. 28th, 2009 at 10:48 AM
Torment
Tomorrow I'm going to start a new Spacemaster: Privateers campaign as an alternative to my Rolemaster campaign for my Saturday afternoon bunch (That is, Tyson, Cameron, and Isaac) and since I was going to iron out a sort of backdrop write up, why not do it here where it's accessable by all.

The privateers universe is one plagued by a war much larger than the two world wars of old, and unfortunately was spawned of the ISC's own doing. The Inter-Species Commission was started many years ago, when first contact was made with the Oorts, humanoids the size of children only muscular, covered in thick brown hair, and with a knack for technology. They began a movement to find worlds that had primitive life, and 'gear up' the planet as it were, giving them technology and hospitatily, as the Oort had shown the humans. This went without too much hassle, until they met the Falanar.

The Falanar were a group of cat men sprung from the eastern side of the galaxy, who appeared to follow a sort of feudal system, lead by a despot, or chieftain. When the ISC made contact with the Falanar a large Kagoth, not unlike a polar bear was in charge, by the name of Frrraaal was in charge. How a Kagoth got to be named chieftain will be a question asked for eons, but this served fortuitously, as it is well known that Kagoth were peaceful beings, carrying with them a calm aura wherever they trode. The ISC opened diplomacy with the Falanar, and a new age of technology was seen, as the Falanar traded feral knowledge of various organic material not seen before by the mechanically thinking Oort and Human populus. This only lasted for so long however...

With any dictator comes a fall, and it was such a fall when Bretog of the Jeronan clan beheaded Frrraaal in a public display, that within 12 hours, all diplomacy between the new Jeronan rulers, and the ISC was closed. People so far as Helios were concerned for their safety, but the whole galaxy waited and watched to see what would come next. And what came next was bloody. The next night was named The Night of the Long Knives as every Tulgar in the now Jeronan space that could be found was slaughtered. Now very few remain, and it is widely regarded to be good luck to be seen by the brave wolf men.

The next few years are known as H'ravi, which in Tulgarian tongue means rougly 'fight or flight', but literally it means "Where your courage is either strengthened by the coming of hard times, or diminished." The ISC still tried to continue to gear up worlds, and to advance their technology further, but it was always in the shadow of the new Jeronan Empire. It was seen that more and more fleets were being assembled near Kriss and Turick, and it wasn't hard to imagine what would come next.

Trade fleets were attacked first, in such a manner that even with the ISC's preparations, there was much bloodshed. The living quality of many families diminished, as more money was funnelled into spacefleets, and drop fleets. Conscripting was even common amongst some parts of the universe. It appears that Bretog was motivated by greed, and wanted control of the Andrium deposits, mainly controlled by the ISC,  which is the main component in Faster than light travel at this current point in time.

Around 6 years into the war, after seeing how much bloodshed was happening, a military commander by the name of Harvard Paraxis saw the Privateer law passing, which allowed for mercenaries to be employed by the ISC military, and given access to some military grade equipment, along with sophisticated tracking devices to show that this equipment was going to be used against the Jeronans. Many people signed up, frustrated at the vulnerability of their families, and some ISC fleets were even populated with only 90% military trained soldiers, the rest being mercenaries. There was a downside however, as some gangs, such as the Rage of Wroth gang was able to achieve new heights, by damaging, or removing the tracking devices.

In the midst of this, the ISC were trying to perfect what they think could be the winning of the war, and that is the birth of psychics. By stressing parts of the brain, they were able to give a human extraordinary abilites, stressing the Temporal Lobe for example, allowed the subject to gain keener, and in some cases even ultrasonic, and hypersonic hearing. One of the rarest forms of ability witnessed in these experiments, was the ability to read others thoughts. This was seen as a huge scientific breakthrough, despite what was happening to some of the patients post experiment. Some showed lack of perceptual abilities caused by 'burning out' the stressed parts of the brain, others showed damage in reasoning and emotive response. These side effects were dwarfed however, by the hope that this new weapon gave to the public.

Psychics come in various mind states, and can be found in various jobs in the ISC, but while the public know that the creation of psychics helped the war, most refuse to acklowledge psychics as true people, and a public psychic will often be ridiculed, and isolated. This conundrum has caused psychics to become almost a subspecies of the human race, with many names, including seers (See-ers), probers, and brought a new meaning to the term "failed experiement."

And such is now, a time consisting of the the first Galactic war, terrible geared up gangs, and ridiculed seers to boot. Unfortunately for us, the Jeronan Empire appears to be winning also. Their fleets consist of ISC designs, perfected, and modified, where the Inter-Species Commission simply do not have the finances to meticulously perfect their fleets. Who will save us? It is unsure, all that is known something must be done soon, or humanity as we know it will cease to exist.

Holidays are whizzing by fast. Also, NT.

  • Aug. 28th, 2009 at 1:22 AM
Torment
So, this week has been rocking it's way through quite quickly, and quite a few things have been happening. Main points are that Ju1cy have the second NTAU tournament this weekend, which we'll hopefully rock. Went to see Inglorious Basterds, which was awesome, and lulzy at times, but not quite as awesome as District 9. Other significant happenings were that Tyson got out of hospital, and is now all good. He looked quite happy at the cinema today, so good on you dude.

In terms of musical interests, there are lots of things happening, which is exciting! I've been listening to a bunch of Pendulum, and it turns my house into this pseudoclub as everyone bops as they go past my room. 'Tis always amusing. New Breaking Benjamin, Skillet, Paramore, Kamelot, Nevermore, HORSE the band, 30 Seconds to Mars, Three Days Grace, Porcupine Tree, and TFK, so there is QUITE a lot to look forward to over the coming months. I'm really interested to hear the BB, Kamelot, Nevermore, and 30 seconds records, to see what they end up doing, whether they head more commercial, or delve back to their roots.

Omfg. Hell. Yes. As I was writing this, I just found a torrent for not 1, not 2, not 3, but FOUR Nox Arcana albums. I will have Grimm  Tales, Blood of Angels, Phantom on the High Seas, and Blackthorne Asylum soon. This pleases me because I'll ALWAYS take more Roleplaying music.

Tomb of Horrors Lulz.

  • Jul. 3rd, 2009 at 7:51 PM
Torment
Due to Tomb of Horrors not being finished, I can't post all of this lovely account I found of Tomb of Horrors, but I can post the first attempt, which has no spoilers for my players, as the only thing they haven't done in this account they won't do, because they pressed the stones on the misty gate in the correct pattern. For all of you who Haven't played Tomb of Horrors, you may want to skip this article, and save it for after you play.

EXERPT FROM ANONYMOUS TOMB OF HORRORS PLAYERS:

So, we tried a one-off tonight as a break from our campaign. The fearless Charles Bronson took a turn at DMing Tomb of Horrors.

We had 4 players, and we decided that two characters each was the way to go. So we had an online draft with the pregens, and we each had two PCs and a backup. In the case that one of us died.

One of us..?

Hahaha.

The 14th level cleric cast Find the Way once we were close, and we located the tomb. We moved all the stones up top, and then used a combination of levitation, ropes and pickaxes.

After about an hour of dinking around., the party finally opened the two passages. Our thief and our paladin went into the first one. There was a door! So the party crowded in, prepared for what was going to pop out.

All you S1 vets are laughing as the roof fell in on the entire party.

But nobody died, so we went in the other one. Carefully. So we fell into a few pits, had to neutralize poison, etc. The cleric fell in a pit and had to be Limited Wished out. Anyway, we got to the end of the hallway, found the riddle, and decided to go through the misty doorway. All of us.

So here we are in this little cell with 3 levers. The cleric still had some questions left on his Commune spell, so he determined that All Down wouldn't work. Three of the eight Teleported out back to the hallway in front of the mist and the scary evil devil face.

After casting Levitate on the two oxes and tying ropes to the rest of us, we tried all the combinations except All Down. Then we tried All Up at the same time, found the crawl space, and got out!

In the meantime, yours truly went out to look at the Real Life lunar eclipse. My 5th or 6th mistake...

While I was out, the Paladin thrust his Flametongue into the mouth of the devil. It disappeared, so he went after it. Thinking this another teleport, the other characters followed.

It wasn't a teleport; it was a Sphere of Annihilation. TPK.

So, we re-drafted, and are going in next week with much weaker pregens. Let's just say that Gygax is a sadistic author!

Have a good night all.




Jul. 3rd, 2009

  • 7:25 PM
Torment
So, over the last few weeks, I've been going kind of over the top with Roleplaying. I think if there was a pen and paper roleplaying equivalent of STEAM, I'd have a rating of 11, because my nob reaches that far. Anyhow, I've been GMing a D&D 4th edition game over the last few weeks, along with a 1st edition game of The Tomb of Horrors, as well as maintaining my on going Rolemaster campaign as a minor action. I've also played in a once off of Call of Cthulu, which I'll talk about at the end.

It's been quite fulfilling, as my skills as a storyteller, and improviser have been improving rapidly, and I very much enjoy the side of GM, as it means that I get to create all the fantastic stories I imagined as a child. I also like to think my players are thoroughly enjoying the games I'm running, as that means the fun is shared by all.

One thing you may ask, is why run several campaigns all at once? I mean, apart from the obvious "it's a different system" answer. Well, having different campaigns allows you to focus on different things, which I shall explain one by one, in my own personal experiences.

Rolemaster (The Mei'Nord Ranges): This setting is one that I thought up as a short campaign for three of my good friends around 2006, Isaac White, Daniel Playne, and Mark Cooper. Isaac played Ichril, a Thief, or Rogue, I forget which, who over the years has become more and more the detective Isaac envisioned. Mark played Arkrekt, the Healer (Lay Healer?) who was played like a Fighter. This in itself was a source of great amusement, as the healer ended up getting the party in more trouble than he saved. Daniel played Turin Turambar, the Magician, who served as the arcane sage to the group. The setting was written completely by me, and ended up becoming a great it, as I'm still playing it today (Albeit, 4 players later. James Mcmillian and some giant by the name of Patrick were the second set of players, after the original party died, leaving Ichril to bargain with a devil to be given a second chance on earth, and now Cameron Darby, and a man who I may only refer to as X are the third iteration of the party, still lead by Ichril).


This campaign's focus is more freeform. Less focus on the system, more focus on the story. We could almost do away with character sheets altogether if my players would let me pry it from their hands. Since the setting was completely original, my focus has been to generate a sort of Morrowind esque sandbox style campaign, listening to what the characters find interesting, and then constructing plots surrounding those facts. This approach has been decently successful so far, but the drawback tends to be that I seem to neglect sidequests, and if I just let them roam, they can either riddle my land with plot holes, as if someone offloaded an array of micro uzis into it, or they will get bored, and then riddle my land with plot holes.

All in all, I love Mei'Nord, and it is what I would describe as my Magnum Opus, and has been my longest running campaign so far.

First Edition Dungeons and Dragons (Tomb of Horrors): This was born from me listening to the official Wizards of the Coast Podcast, and listening to them talk about the famous "Party killer" dungeon known as The Tomb of Horrors. I was intrigued, and read up on it, and found a wicked dungeon, with a ton of character. I then came across the idea of running a game in 1st edition D&D. This approach has been more of a lab rat sort of experience. I worked out how I can and can't run modules for my players, and what frustrates my players about playing a module by the book. We've had around 10 hours playing time on this one, and I believe a good 3-5 should finish it off, and see them finishing off Acererak. I almost wish I wouldn't have chosen this module as my 1st edition game, because my D&D4e game has ended up much more successful, and you'll see what I mean in a second...

Fourth Edition Dungeons and Dragons (Escape from Turth under a Sea of Stars): This is my newest campaign, which I have been conducting using the Ju1cy ventrillo server, as well as OpenRPG (which I must say is interesting. The game progresses slower than in person, but that's simply because characters spend more time chatting to each other, which is both fantastic, and slightly unproductive.) I've decided that this game would be both a homebrew game, and a chance for me to run famous 1st, and 2nd edition D&D modules, yet in a system that we understand. (One problem that we found with 1st edition, was a lack of understanding of the system, and it was hard to learn due to low quality PDF's available, and the fact that D&D was just so much less streamlined back there! I mean, if I was in that time period, I'd have loved it, but it's just so wretched to read. Rolemaster FRP is bad enough for lack of streamlining.) This approach of playing classic modules, with my own twist on them has been highly rewarding. For this campaign I plan on running L1 -  The Secret of Bone Hill, which is a fantastic pseudo-open world module, which focuses around the town of Restenford. After that I shall probably run L2 - The Assassin's Knot, which is a cool little Mystery themed module, and then after that who knows. The focus of this game has been to make a more interesting setting than Mei'Nord, more traditional fantasy, with a lot more races/animal types. (Mei'Nord pretty much just has Spitters (snake/men shifters), men, Silverfin (enchanted fish), and avatars of the various gods. So it's quite barren really.) I've also focused on having some really good NPCs, and having various parts of the land, and NPCs relate in interesting ways. As well as have plot twists. I wonder how my players will take my plot twists...

Anyhow, that is my RP habits in a nutshell, possibly more outlining will come in future entries.



I <3 NZ. (Not really, but in this case I do.)

  • Jun. 10th, 2009 at 11:36 AM
Torment
So, while watching New Zealand's Next Top Model (Yes, I do watch it. I feel sometimes that I get a bit too smart, so I try to siphon a little of the brainpower out my ears every so often.) the largest model in the whole competition, Ruby, had to take a photo based on an emotion, and when I saw her photo to portray joy, I leapt off my couch and went to google images to compare the photo to another image with a similar artistic vision, but was disgruntled when the photo was not online yet. It now is, and I can show the world what I saw that night!.

Exhibit a) (Ruby's photo on joy. I mention this only because the large amounts of similarities may get you confused as to which is which.)



Exhibit b)





I KNOW RIGHT? I swear I have seen the face of Jesus, or atleast something very similar.

Anyways, back to your day jobs.

 - Chris.

Ju1cy Vs The Wombles.

  • May. 25th, 2009 at 11:48 PM
Torment
So, hai2all, I return. I have been out of blogging for a long time since I've had other commitments, but now I am back! Since a lot of people know me IRL, I'm not going to bother explaining the last six months other than it was badass, and I've been doing really well at Massey (ask for more, and I can tell more.) Anyways, I've always been serious into L4D, but now my Blood 'n' Guts L4D clan has merged with Ju1cy the Team Fortress II clan, to create Ju1cy.TF2 and Ju1cy.L4D. I am a member of both divisions, and have been playing on the GameArena 8v8 TF2 ladder, and on the CyberGamer L4D ladder.

my history with Ju1cy.TF2 is as follows:

Ju1cy vs Weapons Tactics Force: I played Engineer, but nothing really happened, so I got swapped out for second medic. The game ended up 9 to 3 on Turbine for a cruisy rape.

Ju1cy vs The Harbingers of Chaos: This game was shoutcasted, and man we got raaaaaaaped. I was medic again, and I played decently well, but it was not good enough. 9 to 2 on Turbine, with us being on the wrong end of the rape.

Ju1cy vs WTF (round 2): Same map, same team, same damn score. I played a rocking game as medic (see a pattern?). At one point I took out 4-5 members of the opposing team in their intel room (well, I didn't exactly. Tricka did, with my blue aura of not dying-ness.) 9 to 3, again to us.

Ju1cy.L4D had their first game tonight, and well...it didn't go so well.

First, we have a ton of new recruits, which of course makes the game gel less than it should, and we challenged on Dead Air, which I fully regret. We know No Mercy, Death Toll, and Blood Harvest inside and out, but Dead Air is hard, and we were making it up as we went. I mean, I spent 3-4 hours preparing for the game, but in the end, we were chickens without heads. The game ended up around 3000 to 2100.

Ah well, next time I guess.

I signed up for the Ju1cy.TF2 game for #11 on GA (We're at #14 currently). Should be good.


Top 5 for 2008: PC Games.

  • Jan. 14th, 2009 at 11:08 AM
Torment
DISCLAIMER: I ACCEPT NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE SLIGHT SPOILERS CONTAINED IN THIS ENTRY. IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BE SPOILED YOU SHOULD HAVE ALREADY PLAYED THESE AWESOME GAMES

PC Games have always been a constant in my life. Some of my first memories are my dad showing me how to play classics like Dune II, and Grand Prix. My dad pretty much sealed my addiction to video games for life, and even today my dad and I play through shooters (Far Cry II, Bioshock and HL^2 are on our list of 'play through together' games at the moment, in case anyone cares.) Now, before we get started, I'd just like to remind people that this is the top 5 media I've consumed in 2008, not released in 2008.

#5 - System Shock II:




This game has been talked about for years by gamers as a classic, and since I was a massive fan of Ion Storm's Deus Ex, I had to give it a go. The idea of being all alone on a spaceship where something had gone wrong was a classic, and was pulled off well. Of course, you had to be in a 1999 mode to truly appreciate the feel that the game gave, but for it's time it was pulled off well. I wish that there was a little more shooter in it, but that seems to be a thing with the *shock games, as Bioshock bugged me for the same reason. In fact, the game is a lot like Bioshock. The feel is incredible, but the shooter aspect is lacking. One of my favourite moments in SSII was when you ended up running down a corridor leading no where, and then you got trapped in an invisible box, while the walls and ceiling fell away to reveal SHODAN, the evil AI that has taken over the ship. It was so good in fact, that I had to replay the sequence to experience the awesome a second time.

Memorable Quote (This is actually from the sequence I described above): "The Polito form is dead, insect. Are you afraid? What is it you fear? The end of your trivial existence? [Walls fall away] I am Shodan."

#4 - Ground Control:



Nowadays we have World in Conflict, and the soon to be Empire: Total War for our real time tactics enjoyment, but back in 2000, there was simply ground control. This game, although old, is probably one of the coolest real time strategy/tactics games I've ever played. The way the units are handled is divine. I mean, having artillery that can shoot three or four times as far as LoS allows, and being able to watch the tracer rounds hang in the air for fourty odd seconds before raining down and wreaking havoc is something that I'll never get over. The aircraft are also handled really well. Rather than a system like the shocking aircraft in Dawn of War: Soulstorm, the aircraft never stop moving, and also fly in formation. How the units behave in reaction to the environment is better than games put out ages after. The multiplayer aspect of this game is also something that is quite enjoyable. I thoroughly recommend people play this game, or the second, which is quite similar.

Memorable Quote? Probably the biggest problem with this game is the lack of memorable dialogue, but that's not why you play it.

#3 - Half Life^2




I know you've probably read many blog entries going on about the awesome that is HL^2, so I hope that this will be interesting, and not a rehash of everything you've read before.

No one can deny the awesome that was Half-Life. Right from the long tram ride to the Black Mesa research center, you know that the game is going to be nothing other than sex with Felicia Day. I actually found G-man's speech at the beginning of HL^2 to be more confusing than awesome, but as soon as I stepped out of the tram and into City 17, I knew why I wanted to play this game - the feel. One thing you can always count on Valve to do, is give a game a certain feel. City 17 had a dying feel. The people were oppressed, and it actually looked like Left 4 Dead could simply be City 17 in a few years time. The run to Dr. Kleiner's lab was definately a highlight of the game for me, because you got to see just how shitty life had become for residents of City 17. Everywhere you looked, someone was getting beaten up, or removed from their homes, and the fact that Valve didn't do it in a cinematic, but through gameplay made it just that much better.

Another thing I disliked about HL^2 was the fact that I found it hard to see what my overall mission was. The whole lack of a journal didn't help, but of course HL^2 wouldn't have been the same if a journal had been included. The silent protagonist didn't help with the exposition either, but again, it wouldn't be HL^2 without it.

All in all, the feel of the city is incredible, and with the addition of Episode one and Episode two, there are few games that come close to being considered this awesome four to five years after it's creation. Hats off to you Valve.

Memorable Quote: "Hey Gordon, you dropped this back in Black Mesa." [Hands crowbar]

#2 - Portal:




I only got to play this around October this year, as I haven't yet acquired The Orange Box. The labrat portion of the game was pretty cool, and I was happily amused playing through it. The little touches that Valve added to the game were phenomenal. Things like the constant cake references, and also the companion cube. Lord, I couldn't help but snicker at the signs conscerning the companion cube, and also when you have to euthanise it. It was all good fun, until the end. See, I thought the game was simply a short labrat style game, so as soon as I escaped from the fire at the end of the test, my mind was racing as to what was going to happen next, and how much I wanted to find the head designer and perform fellatio on him. This feeling wore off slightly, as I found traversing the areas behind the scenes tedious at times, but as soon as I found GLaDOS my enthusiasm rose again. The 'boss fight' was simple, yet I felt pressured for time, which kept a good pace on things. Once GLaDOS was destroyed, and the ending sequence began, I just sat there with my jaw dropped, thinking that fellatio would not be enough for the head designer. I was going to go all the way.

Memorable Quote:  "Did you know you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science self esteem fund for girls? It's true!"

#1 - Chronicles of Riddick: Escape From Butcher Bay:




Now, if Isaac hadn't bugged me to play this game, I probably wouldn't have. I hadn't heard of the developers, and marry that to a video game based on a movie, and normally you have a recipe for disaster. Now, I will go so far as to say that this is the only game based on a movie that you should play. Even if you dislike the film, or haven't seen it, play this game.

The opening sequence sees you at the entrance to the famous Butcher Bay prison, to which you pwn everyone and escape in around three minutes. This of course turns out to be a day dream sequence, as Riddick is brought to his prison cell. Now, I could have explained that better, but I knew there was no point, as I cannot describe how awesome the intro was. I will go so far as to say it deserves to be up there with the Half Life ride of awesome to Black Mesa. The game itself may as well have been made by Valve, as the gritty prison feel is evident from the minute you start. All the textures in the game have been made to look rough, and the lighting effects compliment perfectly.

Also, the first time you snap someones neck, you just have to stand back and admire how it looks and feels. The crack of their neck, and the way that fall, it feels way real. Okay, so I've never broken someones neck for real, but from what I could see, it was pretty realistic, badass, and fucking ruthless.

One of my favourite parts of this game was the fact that it's a First Person Shooter/Stealth/Fighting game. They really pulled wide for influences and genres to add to Riddick, and the best part is that none of it leaves something to be desired.

The Shooter: Okay, I have one thing to say, all game developers should take note of one part of this game:  The reloading. If you drop a clip that's half empty, you literally drop the clip. There are no 'Oh look at how badass I am, in a split second I can reload this gun that I've never seen before in my life, and I've taken the 3 extra rounds out of this clip, the 17 out of this other one, and placed it in a clip that's got 20 rounds in it already.' moments in this game. A step up from this would be allowing the player to pick up half used clips and spend time placing rounds, but that's an afterthought. The shooter aspect of this game is glorious, and nothing but awesome.

The Stealth: I'm not much for stealth games. I never got into series like Tom Clancy, or Thief, which made this game even more of a suprise to me. The fact that Butcher Bay is so dank and dark, meant that the stealth felt really natural, and also the inclusion of the whole breaking of necks made sneaking up on people all the more brutal. I'm not going to say much more on the subject, as I'm not the stealth game expert, but I really enjoyed it.

The Fighting: One of my favourite parts of the game was the helipad circle that the inmates used as a fighting ring. The whole wandering around the prison trying to find someone who wanted to fight so you could gain some respect among the inmates was a pretty badass aspect. The actual gameplay was well done too. Blocking, and using the WSAD keys to guide your punches/attacks was simple, yet interesting. The enemies seemed to have different preferences of fighting, which also made the gameplay interesting. All in all, I was completely and utterly amazing.

Memorable Quote er...exchange:

Riot Guard: Prisoner! This is restricted area! What are you doing here?
Riddick: Oh. Heh. Sorry, my mistake.
Riot Guard: Shit, you're Riddick!
Riddick: I think you're gonna need backup.
Riot Guard: Command, I need backup!

So, do my reader base of not even my mother agree?

'Tis in fact '09.

  • Jan. 1st, 2009 at 8:32 AM
Torment
It's that time of the year again when people get drunk, and decide what self improvement they aren't going to improve on, and I must say that in all honesty New Years is pretty lame. What everyone proclaims as an awesome night for partying often ends up as just another bag of coal under the Christmas tree. Anyhow, I hope everyone has a pimpin' year, and I plan to be making peoples lives badass.

Stay tuned for some more Wizard teachings.

 - Chris

IMPORTANT: The Barnacle is back.

  • Dec. 29th, 2008 at 11:48 PM
Torment
With Season four of How I Met Your Mother in full swing (Well, maybe not full swing, but it will be back online as of 12/01/09) the lovely creaters of the show have updated Barney's blog, so go check it out.

The most awesome awesomeness you will ever read.

On a related note, I failed in my knowledge of Barney's rules. I thought the Lemon law had a cut off time of 30 minutes, when in fact it is 5 minutes. But before you bitch at me for being lame, you just lost the game, so suck it.

 - Chris.

BTW: Merry Christmas.

Torment
Ever have one of those moments where you try something you haven't done in a while, and when it fails miserably you utter something along the lines of "Ah. Right. That's why I told myself never to do that again"? It's like 4chan. You see images of epic threads, and think to yourself "Yeah, I could go for some lulz right now". Then, after wading through many pictures of penises, niggers, and assholes stretched ludicrously you realise why you stopped browsing. I, unfortunately ended up with this feeling of "Why the fuck did I try again?" Now, I'm not going to 'splain why, or how I reached this conclusion, as my request below is pending.


What epic shit shall I use to cure this curse of lame?

- The Wizard, or maybe it's Chris. Who knows.

Media review.

  • Nov. 19th, 2008 at 11:17 AM
Torment
Over the last week or so, I have been consuming a lot of new media, as my PC is broken, and so I cannot play the large backlog of games that is racking up (It's even more frustrating that I have an incredible amount of free time). Here is a list of short reviews of everything that I've consumed as of late.

Live at the Electric Factory - Alter Bridge: This is a 21 song audio bootleg, recorded by WMMR (A radio station in the US). The audio is mixed through the sound desk, and so the quality stays listenable. The show happened in the final months of 2007, or possibly early 08, as Blackbird had been released soon before the show. Myles Kennedy performs admirably, showing that he is one of the strongest voices in modern rock. Belting out classic Alter Bridge tunes left and right (See a full tracklist below). Myles seems to be able to take himself a little less than seriously. Before Metalingus he tries to improvise a lead line, and when it doesn't come out to his satisfaction he laughs, and decides to 'screw that' and go right into the song. Along with keeping a fun side to rock, Myles enjoys his covers, and there were no shortage at this show. Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah, Led Zeppelin's Mudbone (The Lemon Song), and AC/DC's Whole Lotta Rosie were all included in the bill. Hallelujah was a mostly traditional cover, only mixing up the melodies with decent success, and Whole Lotta Rosie was performed with Whitfield Crane from Ugly Kid Joe on vocals. The main attraction in the covers department however, was Mudbone. Myles opts for a southern rock, almost country version, in what appears to be Open D tuning. This was a decent cover, and was similar to the version Myles performed when I saw Alter Bridge in Auckland.

Overall: Sound quality is average and may annoy some, good choice of songs, decent number of covers.

Pedal to the Metal - Blessed by a Broken Heart: Upon getting the latest issue of the poster magazine Twisted, I found a poster which has since made it on my wall simply because of their hilarious attire. Quite Believably they are a canadian hair metal band. Out of sheer boredom one day, I torrented ther album (I have no problems with admitting that I pirated it, as Blessed By a Broken Heart are probably rejoicing that someone actually wanted their record). I don't really have much to say other than LOLOL. This glam metal goes from bad to worse. To Be Young is probably the only listenable track on the album, but even that is just average glam metal.

Overall: Hilariously bad, I'd rather listen to Twisted Sister.

The Way of all Flesh - Gojira: I've always loved these guys, because there's just something about Cheese-eating Surrender Monkeys rocking out to the goodness that is Whale Metal. Joe Duplantier has always entertained me with his rants on how Whales are the angels on earth. I'd hate to see what he thinks about the Japanese. Anyways, the record. I loved From Mars To Sirius, and was hoping that these guys would be able to maintain my interest. As soon as Oroborous started playing I knew that they had. 32+ bars of Legato two handed tapping, while still sounding agressive is an impressive feat, and more than that, Oroborous is artsy and different. My thoughts were strengthened when Toxic Garbage Island rocked out immediately after. Toxic Garbage Island showed Gojira's more Technical side, sporting Harmonic Slides, along with a complex and heavy rhythm. The only thing that I dislike about The Way of all Flesh is that these two phenomenal opening songs are never really met anywhere else on the CD. the rest of the songs are good, but I was absolutely blown away by the first two tracks, and it would have been nice if the amazement could have kept throughout the listen.

Overall: Great start, average overall, French Metal has it's moments and I cannot wait to see what their next project will be like.

Take it to the Limit - Hinder: Ugh. I secretly enjoyed Extreme Behavior, probably because it was a breakup CD and I wasn't always this awesome, but take it to the limit is nothing but terrible. The tunes feel thin, and nothing innovative is brought to the table. I'm not going to waste any more words on this record, because I've already given it more words than it deserves.

Overall: Take it to the Limit is suck.


The Dream - In This Moment: This is an american metalcore outfit, which I decided to check out because I'd never heard of these guys, and Maria Brink was said to mostly stick to clean singing over a heavy background. Being a sucker for such a format I got their latest, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. The melodies are decent. Not bad, not great, just average. The instrumentals are decent. Not bad, not great, just average. Maria Brink is decent. Not bad, not great, just average.

Overall: Not bad, not great, just average.


Remission - Mastodon: After seeing Brent Hinds be more excited than a 7 year old who's just been told that he's going to Disneyland, and hearing my guitar teacher revel in their awesome, I decided that I needed more Mastodon. Post-getting their discography: Good idea. Remission is probably my favourite of the four Mastodon records, and is the first of the five concept albums on the five elements of the earth. Remission is the Fire album, and the artwork and lyrical focus is appropriate. One thing I've noticed about Mastodon, is the vocals are mixed quite low, meaning that the instruments take a large chunk of the sound spectrum. This has reinforced my belief that vocals are one of the last things listen for, as it took me a while to notice the quite vocals. This may annoy some, but to me I find it a perfect blend of beauty and rock. March of the Fire ants is one of my favourite cuts on the album, as well as the comically named Mother Puncher.

Overall: Instrumental aimed Prog-metal is badass.

The New Game - Mudvayne: Well, there certainly isn't anything new coming to the table with this record. It's pretty much Lost and Found 2.0, except I enjoy LaF more. Since Greg Tribbet avoids leadwork like the plague, the sound spectrum is dominated by chunky rhythms, except Gred decided that a thinner, pro-tools esque sound would work better than a party of mid-range chunk. Bad move. The lyrics are just as angst filled as before, except I'm that much older. I'm not 13 anymore guys...

Overall: I'm not 13 anymore, so grow up.

This Godless Endeavour - Nevermore: Ahhhh...Now we're getting back into the good stuff. I've had this record for a while, and I didn't really enjoy it. The music just didn't stand out. Obviously I wasn't listening properly, because I dug it out and listened for a bit of nostalgia, and it rocks! Jeff Loomis' playing must have grown on me, or I just didn't notice the key parts. That guy makes me want to go out and buy a Seven string just to learn this stuff. Darrel Wane runs a fine line between a metal yell, and a power metal wail. The result is something entirely fitting of the backdrop, and most definately awesome.

Overall: Nevermore may take a while to grow on you, but they are like heroin. 

Dark Horse - Nickelback: I got this one primarily for my dad, who was wanting some more post-grunge to rock to. Right from the get-go, Chad Kroeger lets you know where the album is going, and let me tell you, it's not a nice place. The first 2 minutes is wasted on Chad telling a 'hot' girl to keep doing what she's doing, because "You're so much cooler when you never pull it out, cause you look so much  cuter with something in your mouth." Somehow, I think Nickelback have got their adjectives mixed up. I don't think anyone before them have ever combined cute with oral sex. many follies (and penis references) later, you wish you could have 43 minutes and 34 seconds back. In fact, the coolest part of the album is the fact that it's 43:34 long.

Overall: When the coolest part of an album is the odd length, you know you shouldn't have bought it.

Live in the UK - Paramore: This is the second live bootleg that I'm reviewing. Again, mixed through the sound desk, but this one has slightly better sound quality, and Hayley Williams! Everything is better with Hayley Williams. Well, except her live. I don't think she has a lack of vocal skills, but my experience of hearing her sing live, is that she spends not enough time warming up, too much time jumping around, and the result is that the notes she holds don't stay on track. She is very charismatic onstage however, and given the chance, I'd let her jump around on me, just not while singing. The songs are generally the same as the album, but there are subtle differences here and there. The other band members play admirably, but at times it sounds empty. Not that the songs aren't being played well, there just needs to me more sound flying around.

Overall: A lack of maturity causes Paramore to not perform as well as the could, but I'm still very much a fan.

Silence Followed by a Deafening Roar - Paul Gilbert: Now, before I comment on the album, I must say that Paul Gilbert is The man. He is a phenomenal guitar player, which means he is ages above my level, but I will watch him playing, or teaching anything. Easily the best charisma I've seen in a guitarist. Anyways, CD time. I must say, this record is phenomenal. Paul Gilbert employs many different techniques with ease, and because he's gone for a tone with tons of bite (Ibanez PGM hollowbody through Marshall Vintage modern 2266 combo) you can hear all of the nuances in his playing. Paul Gilbert employs legato profusely, and it's phenomenal on this record and his last (Get Out of My Yard) because there is a large difference between the bite of picked notes, and the flow of the legato. From start to finish I was woo'd, and now I want to see him on the G3 tour.

Overall: Great shred record.

Paradise Lost - Symphony X: Now, this blog entry has been perfect. I just got this, and was listening while writing this entry, and it's just finished. Perfect time for me to write while it's fresh in my head, and I have to say, I'm really annoyed that I didn't get this album before. I'd heard of Symphony X, but never got around to listening. I'd assumed they'd be just another power metal outfit, but oh man, I was so wrong. For one, Symphony X go for a more agressive approach. There are still the same Power Metal Schticks, but not in the way that you'd expect. There are still synths hanging around the place, but they are shoved into the background, providing more space for rocking riffs that will melt your face off. The vocals are not your average wail either. In fact, it's almost a Cowboys From Hell or Vulgar Display of Power style of vocal delivery, and I must say, I love it.

Overall: Congrats for making it through this terribly long review session, and Get. This. CD. If any of these records deserve light, it's this one.


Human anatomy lesson.

  • Nov. 11th, 2008 at 10:11 PM
Torment
I just finished watching the final episode of House season four (Yes, I know, you don't need to remind me that New Zealand sucks for live television), and I'm left in the wierdest of moods. Just in case you are so behind the times that you haven't got that far, or you're going to get into house in the near future - SPOILER ALERT: Amber gets wtfpwnd by various circumstances, and gets awaken from a coma in order to be told that she's going to die. Fucking ruthless. Anyways, after viewing, I am left in an extremely odd mood that I don't experience very often.

When I was growing up, I quickly learned that some lazy adolescent who was probably paid minimum wage to pay for dope was placed in charge of the human anatomy, and obviously put some extra stuff that wasn't needed. That or he thought some piece looked like it'd be good to smoke weed out of. Either way, This minimum wage stoner...in fact, he needs a name. From now one he will be called Jesse (because I see all Jesse's as Juvenile Delinquents). So, Jesse in some way or another caused the entire human race to be flawed with what I shall call The Rule of Random Deaths.

The rule of random deaths (or RoRD) states that a human is succeptable to strong feelings of "Oh god, what am I doing with my life?" (OGWAIDWML for short.) when they see real or staged forms of death. This does not always occur, and comes only at certain times. A successful implementation of OGWAIDWML requires both presentation of death, and the random phenomenon known as the Emotion Shotgun (See Also: Menstruation). A markov chain has been constructed to assist in the understanding of conditions required to release the RoRD.




Once RoRD has successfully been released, the endocrine system releases an array of hormones engineered especially to fuck you up. They are the Samuel L Jacksons of our anatomy, and will swear gratuitously while eating your endorphins like a big kahuna burger.  Research is being done to ascertain a way to stop these SLJ hormones, but progress is slow. Mainly because mainstream scientists refuse to believe there are such things as Samuel L Jackson hormones. Racists.

Now that you have been instructed on the conditions of RoRD, now I shall tell you what to do if you find yourself struck by a case of RoRD - Nothing.

RoRD is a feeling. That should be your hint. Go on and live your life as you have before, as in a few hours everything will subside and you will return to being your normal self.